Study Tips for Kids and Parents

With school back in session, here are tips from Oxford Learning to get your kids through school and dreaded exams.

Kids

1. Listen and hear. Pay attention in class. Jot notes on the main ideas. Don’t understand something? Make a note and ask someone to explain it to you.

2. Ace your homework. Use a planner to enter homework as soon as it’s assigned. Pick a comfortable place to do homework and study.

3. Study effectively. Divide material into units and assign each unit a day. Give yourself a three-day break before the test. Study in short bursts – 15 minutes at a time – then take a five-minute breather to exercise and refocus.

Use Oxford’s SQRCRC method to study:
Survey introductions, headings and summaries for main ideas.
Question: “What do I hope to learn by reading this?”
Read for details.
Cover the work.
Recite what you’ve just read.
Check how well you have done.

Parents

1. Help your child prepare a study schedule, and review it together every morning.
2. Create a special work environment that encourages best efforts and makes it easier for your child to get into study mode.
3. Get involved. Your interest shows them that school is important.

Raising a Family

Years ago, as a new mother, I had moments of self-perceived superiority over my husband when it came to making decisions for, and about, our child.My resolve to follow “mother’s intuition” outweighed and trumped all outside forces. I even went so far as to shower pity upon the man misguided enough to assume his care could be comparable to mine, gleefully telling friends and family about his parenting mishaps.

Mishaps that to me were incomprehensible mistakes, such as one midnight hour transfer of our crying first-born to the recipient of the next wakeful shift. Taking hold of our discontented baby, I felt something unexpected inside his diaper and–like a red-nosed clown pulling the never-ending scarf from his mouth–I drew out a long, primary-colored cord, to which a child’s cassette-recorder microphone was attached.

My face twisted in anguish as I pictured my husband changing our baby’s diaper in the middle of the night and including any arbitrary items that just happened to be on the changing table at the time.“He’s lucky he didn’t get the whole recorder in there,” he said, yawning at my judgmental glare and padding into bed for a few hours of sleep before heading to work.From driving off with expensive baby gear on the roof of the car to letting our son stay up late without brushing his teeth, I was convinced that I knew what I was doing and that he, in fact, did not.

And then, one snowy day in upstate New York, I hit my husband’s car.With my car.While we were both driving…as I was following him to the repair shop to have his deer-jumped-out-from-nowhere bumper fixed.And even though our entire family was in my car at the time (no one was hurt), my husband didn’t label me incompetent or dim-witted as I may have done to him.

Instead, he gracefully acknowledged that we all make mistakes, that we all have lapses in judgment, that—though this particular car incident was a tough one to swallow–no one is immune to the slip ups, oversights and inaccuracies that make each of us “human”.

I slowly, but very surely, began to appreciate that all the focus I had spotlighted on my husband’s mistakes was my mind’s way of shadowing my own blunders.A cassette recorder microphone folded into a diaper was not nearly as dangerous as what I had just done. And driving off with a brand new Baby Bjorn on the roof of our car not nearly as expensive.

Many years have gone by now, and I continue to learn from my husband’s effortless forgiveness of my faults. Better still, has been the realization that his ideas and intents for our family most often have significantly better outcomes than what would have occurred had I been the only one in charge of making the plans and decisions.Every now and then, a glimpse of my “mother knows best” syndrome sparkles in my eye, and such was the case this summer when I impudently told my husband “no” to the tackle football league for which he wanted to sign up our oldest son.

Ultimately, I saw the errors of my own self-importance and relented.And, last weekend I watched my proud son stand in front of his team and receive a trophy with a confidence and self-respect he gained from accomplishing something he had previously assumed he couldn’t do—until his dad encouraged him to try.Certainly, there are limits when it comes to accepting our partners “contributions”–I took over diapering duty while it lasted…and he’s taken over driving…forever…But, we continue to grow as a result of our combined efforts and respect for each other’s roles and involvement in this life-long endeavor called “raising a family”.

Kids and Creativity: Tips for Sparking Your Child's Natural Creativity

Childhood and creativity seem to go hand in hand. Many times, the best thing we can do to encourage and spark their natural creativity is to get out of their way.

Here are some tips that have worked for me to help spark our children's natural sense of curiosity and creativity.

1. Have a variety of art supplies and make sure they are readily available. This doesn't have to be a big expense. Order some discount supplies online or shop around at flea markets and discount stores. Things you will want to include: cotton balls, beads, white glue, glue sticks, rubber cement, rhinestones, paper, markers, colored paper, crayons, watercolors, and oil pastels, along with a variety of papers. Also fill a box with things that you find around the house: tiny containers, old magazines, old holiday cards and so on.

2. When your children finish a piece of artwork, ask them to tell you about it. Engage your children in a conversation about the various creative choices they made that created the finished product. Try your hardest not to criticize these choices. Just really listen to what they have to say. You might also want to point out that it's often the things we think are mistakes in our art that lead to some of our best and most creative work.

3. Prominently display your child's artwork when it is complete. By doing so, you demonstrate that you truly value their art and creativity.

4. Talk about your own creative endeavors. It's important for your kids to see your own creative processes. Whether you paint, write, scrapbook, photograph or sew, allow them to see you (often) engaged in a creative pursuit. Make sure that you are honoring your own creative artwork by displaying your work prominently in your home, as well.

5. Work on art side by side with your child.

6. Visit art museums and galleries together and discuss what appeals to you the most. Discuss how the appreciation of art is very personal and unique to each individual.

7. Actively encourage your children in the creative pursuits that they seem drawn to. If they show interest in a musical instrument or a new genre of dance, for example, sign them up for a short workshop or class where they can learn more.

8. Show your kids that every day of life can be creative and filled with imagination. Show your kids, though your own actions, that they can bring creativity and fun to common, everyday tasks and, in so doing, make them more fun.

Right To Play

Playing is a way for children to cope with anxiety.

I asked a group of primary school-age children to jot down their ideas on what their rights are. They all agreed that they had the right to live, be loved and be protected. One thing they left out in their list was the right to play. When I asked them whether they felt they had the right to play, many of them felt that the adults in their lives controlled this.

Play allows children to learn to manage their anxiety. When children play, they are in a safe space where they can experiment at will. All rules are suspended and they are not bound by any physical or social constraint. In play, children can go their own way. A child at play makes her own decisions instead of following what others say. When children play, they can set aside what is going on in their lives.

Play helps children come to grips with their past and also, just as importantly, to build their future with a sense of a happy ending.

Play is active. Children do not have to be passive observers or suffer what is happening around them. They can actively participate in whatever is happening around them. For many young children who are living in silence, they can speak up without fear.

Play is the way a child works out his problems. As adults, we are constantly talking things out with one another. We talk about our past experiences and how they affect our present. We try to understand what is going on in our lives by pondering the possibilities and making connections.
When children play, they act out what they have heard or seen. They use their own words and actions to respond to what is going on around them. Their play actions help to relieve the anxiety they feel about what has happened. Through their make-believe sessions, children find the strength to cope with the challenges.

A 2½-year-old girl feeds her teddy bear food. She tells him, “Eat up. You cannot grow if you do not eat.” She keeps shoving the spoon with her pretend food into his tightly sewed up “mouth”. She gets angry with him and hits him. Then she picks him up and cuddles him, repeatedly saying, “I’m sorry.”

Play allows the child to test-drive their ideas before they use them to cope in real situations. I remember when my girls first started preschool, they often played pretend school with one another. I could tell how they perceived school as I watched and listened to them. One time, I was alerted that one of their teachers was using the cane in the classroom when I saw my daughter using a long stick. She kept telling her “class” to sit down and be quiet.

Play helps children come to grips with their past and also, just as importantly, to build their future with a sense of a happy ending. Children need to play out their fears after undergoing difficult situations, such as illness, family squabbles and adversities. During times of uncertainty, children use their play situations to give themselves some comfort and guidance.

Humour is also a powerful tool in managing anxiety, and children delight in their growing capacity to make use of it. They start to experiment with practical jokes from an early age. Children would do something funny or make up funny words to fend off their vulnerabilities or the boundaries set by their parents.

My second daughter would make up a language to communicate with us whenever she felt uneasy or reluctant to co-operate. She would either tell a joke or make a remark that no one understands. She would also say something really outrageous when things get a bit tense. She told us that this was her way of refraining from a fight or argument with us.

Children learn to adapt to many situations that are tense or aggravate them to feeling anxious, for example, when they have to attend a new class or on a visit to the doctor’s. Young children who engage in varied play situations with their siblings and peers will discover that things are not so bad after all. Having enacted the situation in their play, children feel they have better control over things.

Parents can help their children to play out how they feel about a particular situation. To do so, they have to give them space without structuring their play with adult rules. Let them say the words they choose. There is no right or wrong in play. Let the child lead. Parents need to respect that children will play and work out their problems at their own pace and in their own time. It is the child’s right to play.

By Ruth Liew

Treasure Moments

Children live for the present, and this is something parents need to be mindful of. PARENTS work hard every day for their children’s future and pray that their children will not make the same mistakes as they did in the past.But children live for the present. They seize the moment to love and take delight in everything they see, hear and feel.

Most parents feel pressured to safeguard their children’s future. They put them in the best schools and enrol them in various classes so that they can learn as much as possible. One 10-year-old boy mapped out his day on a piece of paper. Looking at the detailed account of what he participates in daily, I asked him when is leisure time. He told me that it is when he goes to bed.
Ask any parent with adult children, whether they have any regrets of the past. Many would tell you: “I wish I had spent more time with my children.”

In a newspaper article, one Hong Kong businessman who suffered great loss in the economic crisis said that he finally got a chance to slow down and spend more time with his family. Parents often worry that they will spoil their children. Some treat their children harshly, calling them derogatory names and punishing them whenever a behaviour is deemed inappropriate.

According to Dr Maria Montessori, during the first three years of life, children are guided by what nature has intended for them. They have natural instincts to learn in a way that is best suited for them.

It is important that parents respect this inner teacher. Well-meaning parents who do not fully grasp what the child really needs from them will unwittingly frustrate his efforts by making him follow their lead and keep up with fast-moving schedules.

Instead of reaching their full potential, children feel stressed out and misunderstood.
School-age children who are overwhelmed by homework and exams find no outlet to express their frustration. They get punished in school for not passing up their homework; at home they face the music for not doing well in school.

When asked whether their parents love them, many children will say: “I know they love me when they buy me things I want. And when I do well in school.” Children equate their parents’ affection to gifts. Parents need to be happy, well-adjusted adults, so that their interactions with their children will foster emotional stability.

Sharing lots of hugs and kisses can help children overcome stress and make them happy and healthy. Sometimes when parents sacrifice time for their children, they find that the child is not interested in interacting with them. And then they want their parent’s complete attention at the most inappropriate time. This can be upsetting for busy and stressed out parents.

Children need time alone with their parents. They need to know this is a priority and not a burden for their parents. If you have very little time in the morning, make time for your child in the evening. Doing homework together is not spending time alone with your child. He needs you to find him interesting to be with.

Arrange for some time alone with your child. You may not be able to do this with your child every day. Some of my best memories of childhood were the times my mother and I spent reciting poems together. Now whenever possible, I will pick up a poetry book and read aloud to my girls.

The idea here is to share what you love. My mother-in-law used to tell stories from the Bible to her children whenever she could find some time. Today, her grown-up children are constantly reminded of the values and beliefs they picked up during those treasured moments with their mother.